100 Skills

I am fascinated by the list of 100 Skills Every Man Should Know from the Art of Manliness. The list, we are told, is for "modern man" who "must be both a warrior and a diplomat, a woodsman and a scholar". Some of the skills on the list include: survive a bear attack, fix a leaky faucet, recite a poem from memory, sew a button, change a flat tire, change a diaper, grow your own food, open a bottle without an opener, speak a foreign language, write in cursive, pick a lock, give a good massage, and my favorite, number 84: make a logical argument. Great skills, right? My initial reaction is, why aren't these skills that every modern human should know? Most of them sound useful and/or fun. I like backpacking in the wilderness and want to survive bear attacks! The authors don't tell us that non-men should not know these skills, or that these skills are only for men. I have a lot of these skills and would like to learn many of the others that I don't currently know. I can split firewood and build a shelter, but I don't know much about knots. The 100 Skills list inspired me to learn skill 79, tie a bowline:

I am glad to know this simple knot now. It's an easy way to make a sturdy loop, simple to remember, and is not difficult to untie. I did not feel like I was transgressing into a men-only club by learning how to tie this knot.

I read through the whole list asking myself: "Would any of these skills not translate well to a list of 100 Skills  Every Human Should Know?" The only elements on the list that stuck out to me were, skills 1, 54 and 93: tie a necktie, ask a woman on a date, and know two cool uncle tricks. However, even these pose little trouble. I suppose tying a necktie could be as useful a skill for a woman or non-binary person as a man. Perhaps, whoever you are, you want to wear a necktie, or know an elder, friend, or a child who wants to wear a necktie but needs help tying it. Asking a woman on a date is certainly a useful skill if you want to date women, and we can easily make the skill more broadly applicable by re-labeling it: "Ask someone on a date". Similarly, we could rephrase skill 93 as "Know two cool tricks" or "Know two cool tricks to entertain kids". 

There are curated skill lists out there for women and for everyone. The overlapping themes and differences between these lists are interesting. For example, Real Simple thinks that it is essential that every woman know how to break up with a friend, say no, accept a compliment, and check your tire pressure, although: "Forget changing a tire--chances are your lug nuts are bolted on so tight you'd never get them off with just a wrench on the side of the road (that's what AAA is for)." 🙄 This is is just false. Reading the lists for women makes me feel like gender norms for women involve a lot of vanity, drama, and helplessness. 

If I were to curate at list of the top five skills for any man to know, would it be any different than the top five skills for women, or for humans generally? I'm torn in a couple directions. On one hand, I want to make an ideal list that would be useful, inspiring, and empowering for anyone (e.g. build a fire, swim, dance, issue an genuine apology, basic plumbing). On the other hand, gender does make a difference in many aspects of the world we live in. In our world, it might be particularly important for women to know how to negotiate a job contract, for men to listen carefully, and for gender minorities to physically and emotionally protect themselves.